Why Our Coping Strategies Stop Working During Awakening

By Tchiki Davis, M.A., Ph.D.
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Coping strategies are the habitual tools our minds and bodies use to navigate stress, uncertainty, and emotional turbulence. For most of life, these strategies—ranging from avoidance behaviors to problem-solving routines—help maintain a sense of stability. However, during awakening, especially during profound shifts that involve the dissolution of the self-concept or ego, these familiar tools often fail. 

Individuals suddenly find that the mental habits and mental patterns that once provided comfort no longer function, leaving them exposed to raw emotion, uncertainty, and profound vulnerability.
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This breakdown is not merely metaphorical—it has a basis in both neuroscience and psychology. The self-concept, or ego, is supported by stable neural networks that organize memory, expectation, and habitual responses. When these networks destabilize, the habitual cognitive loops we rely on for coping—our mental “routines”—lose their reliability. As a result, traditional coping strategies fail precisely because the self-concept that used them as scaffolding is no longer operating at full capacity.

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The Self-Concept as a Coping Framework

The self-concept can be understood as a mental framework that seems to provide continuity, stability, and predictability. It organizes perception and behavior, allowing us to anticipate outcomes and respond to challenges. This predictability is essential for habitual coping: routines, avoidance mechanisms, and cognitive strategies are all anchored in the 'apparently stable' structure of the self.

During awakening, many individuals report a loosening or even temporary dissolution of the ego. Cognitive neuroscientists describe this as decreased activity in the default mode network (DMN), a set of brain regions linked to self-referential thought, rumination, and autobiographical memory. Studies using fMRI and EEG have shown that during intense meditation, psychedelic experiences, or transformative psychological states, DMN activity decreases, correlating with reduced ego boundaries and a shift in perception.
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The practical consequence is that the familiar “mental scaffolding” disappears. Habits, learned responses, and automatic coping strategies are no longer reliable, leaving the individual vulnerable to emotional intensity and existential uncertainty. In other words, the usual ways of handling stress no longer function because they were designed for a self that is now dissolving.

Video: When Coping Stops Working

Why Our Usual Coping Strategies Fail During Awakening

1. The Breakdown of Habits
Habits rely on repetition and context to function effectively. However, when the self-concept dissolves, the context in which these habits operate changes fundamentally. Activities that previously provided relief, such as seeking distraction, overthinking solutions, or controlling outcomes, may suddenly feel hollow or ineffective. The brain’s old “shortcut” pathways for stress relief are disrupted, creating a profound sense of disorientation.

2. Heightened Emotional Sensitivity
Dissolution of the self-concept often brings heightened sensitivity to emotional and sensory input. Without the usual mental filters and self-protective narratives, emotions can feel raw, intense, and destabilizing.

3. Cognitive Flexibility and Neuroplasticity
Periods of awakening often involve increased neuroplasticity, or the brain’s ability to reorganize itself. While this opens the door for transformative learning and consciousness expansion, it also means that old neural patterns supporting habitual coping may be in flux. Cognitive flexibility—the capacity to adapt thoughts and behaviors to new contexts—becomes both a challenge and an opportunity. Individuals may feel “unmoored,” but this state also provides the potential for developing entirely new ways of responding to stress and other psychological challenges.

Coping Strategy	Typical Ego-Based Filter / Mechanism	Why It Fails During Ego Dissolution
Distraction (e.g., TV, social media, busywork)	Relies on the self’s ability to shift attention away from uncomfortable emotions while maintaining a sense of control	When the ego dissolves, attention is less under voluntary control and emotions cannot be “ignored” in the same way; distraction feels hollow or ineffective
Cognitive Reappraisal (rethinking a situation)	Requires stable self-narrative and autobiographical memory to reinterpret events in a coherent story	With weakened ego structures and reduced default mode network activity, reframing loses grounding; thoughts may feel detached or meaningless
Avoidance / Suppression	Depends on the ego’s capacity to maintain boundaries and push away unwanted sensations or feelings	Emotional intensity increases and mental boundaries dissolve, making suppression largely impossible; suppressed feelings may intensify
Planning / Problem-Solving	Relies on forward-thinking, prediction, and a stable sense of self as agent of action	Ego dissolution destabilizes the sense of self as decision-maker; planning feels abstract or futile, and problem-solving loses its motivational anchor
Seeking External Validation / Advice	Requires identification with social roles, reputation, or self-concept	During ego breakdown, attachment to social identity weakens; external approval may no longer reassure or regulate emotional state
Ruminative Thinking / Overanalysis	Driven by the self’s need for coherence and control over experiences	With reduced DMN activity and loosening of narrative ego, rumination can feel endless or meaningless; insight may be less available

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Learning to Experience Emotions Without Coping

While the breakdown of familiar coping strategies can feel disorienting or even frightening, it also offers a profound opportunity for personal growth. When the ego loosens and the mind’s habitual patterns no longer buffer emotions, we are forced to confront feelings in their raw form. This is challenging, but it is precisely in this space that genuine emotional intelligence and resilience are cultivated. By allowing ourselves to feel our emotions without the crutch of distraction, suppression, or reframing, we learn the deeper truth of our internal experience. Over time, this practice strengthens our capacity to navigate life with clarity, presence, and authenticity.

Feeling Emotions Fully
Feeling emotions fully requires more than simply noticing them—it involves engaging with the body and mind simultaneously. Start by gently bringing attention to the physical sensations associated with each emotion: tightness in the chest, warmth in the stomach, tingling in the limbs, or tension in the jaw. Labeling the emotion internally (“I feel fear,” “I feel sadness”) can create a sense of acknowledgment without judgment.

Next, allow the sensations to unfold without trying to change, fix, or escape them. This may involve softening the muscles, taking slow, deep breaths, and visualizing the sensation as a wave that can rise, crest, and fall naturally. Mindfulness practices, body scans, or even gentle movement like stretching or walking can facilitate this process.

It is also helpful to notice the mental narratives that arise in response to the emotions—judgments, stories, or interpretations—and observe them as passing thoughts rather than truths. By maintaining this gentle witness perspective, we can stay present with our emotions without being swept away by them or needing to cope in the old ways.

Over time, consistently practicing this approach allows the nervous system to recalibrate. Rather than reacting automatically or relying on habitual coping mechanisms, the body and mind learn to tolerate and process emotions directly. This leads to greater emotional fluidity, authenticity, and a deepened understanding of oneself. Paradoxically, what initially feels like vulnerability becomes a source of profound inner strength and personal growth.

Worksheet: Reflecting on Coping Strategies During Ego Dissolution

Instructions: For each coping strategy below, reflect on your personal experience. Notice what typically happens, how it feels when these strategies fail, and any insights or new approaches you discover. Download worksheet here

Coping Strategy	Reflection Prompts	Your Responses
Distraction (e.g., TV, social media, busywork)	How do you usually distract yourself from uncomfortable emotions? What happens when distraction no longer works?
Cognitive Reappraisal (rethinking a situation)	How do you normally reinterpret or reframe challenging events? How does this feel when your usual self-narrative feels unstable or detached?
Avoidance / Suppression	What emotions or experiences do you usually avoid or suppress? How does it feel when avoidance is no longer possible?
Planning / Problem-Solving	How do you typically plan or solve problems when stressed? How does your approach change if you feel unmoored or uncertain about your sense of self?
Seeking External Validation / Advice	How do you rely on others for reassurance or guidance? What shifts when external approval no longer provides comfort?
Ruminative Thinking / Overanalysis	How does overthinking or analyzing situations usually help you? How does this change when your mental narratives feel less cohesive or meaningful?

Navigating Coping During Awakening

When traditional strategies fail, the path forward involves cultivating approaches that do not rely on the stability of the self-concept. Several evidence-informed practices can help:

1. Mindfulness and Present-Moment Awareness
Mindfulness practice encourages observing experience without attachment to a self-narrative. Research shows that mindfulness can reduce activity in the DMN and strengthen connections in brain regions responsible for attention and interoception. By anchoring attention in the present moment, individuals can navigate heightened emotions without relying on habitual ego-based coping strategies.

2. Acceptance and Non-Resistance
Acceptance-based approaches, drawn from therapies such as ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), emphasize noticing experiences without judgment or resistance. When the ego is destabilized, fighting, reframing, or avoiding emotions becomes less effective. Scientific studies indicate that acceptance can reduce stress-related physiological responses, supporting emotional resilience even when familiar coping mechanisms fail.

3. Embodied Practices
Somatic or body-based practices, such as intentional breathing, yoga, and movement, provide grounding through the nervous system rather than the mind. Neurophysiological research demonstrates that slow, rhythmic breathing can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing stress and increasing emotional regulation independently of ego-based cognition. These practices allow individuals to cope directly with sensations and emotions as they arise.

4. Reframing Coping as Exploration
Rather than seeking to restore previous strategies, awakening can be approached as a period of exploration. Cognitive flexibility, curiosity, and self-compassion become central tools. Psychological research on post-traumatic growth suggests that individuals who view destabilizing experiences as opportunities for learning and transformation tend to develop stronger resilience and adaptive coping in the long term.

Worksheet: Cultivating New Coping Skills During Awakening

Instructions: When traditional coping strategies fail, explore the following practices. Reflect on your experience, notice what arises in the body and mind, and experiment with new ways of responding. Download worksheet here.
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Practice	Reflection Questions	Your Responses
Mindfulness & Present-Moment Awareness	What sensations, thoughts, or emotions are arising right now? How can you observe them without trying to fix or change them? What shifts when you focus on the present moment rather than past or future concerns?
Acceptance & Non-Resistance	Which experiences or emotions are hardest to accept without judgment or resistance? How might noticing them without trying to control or suppress them change your experience?
Embodied Practices (breathing, yoga, movement)	Which body-based practices feel grounding for you? How does your body respond when you bring attention to physical sensations or engage in slow, intentional movement?
Reframing Coping as Exploration	How can you approach difficult experiences as opportunities to learn or explore rather than problems to solve? What curiosity, self-compassion, or flexibility can you bring to these moments?
Integration	After trying these approaches, what insights emerge about coping without relying on the self-concept? How might you integrate these practices into your daily life moving forward?

Final Thoughts on Coping During Awakening

The dissolution of the self-concept during awakening is often disorienting, even distressing. Yet, it is precisely this breakdown that allows for the development of new, more adaptive forms of living. Traditional strategies fail not as a sign of weakness, but as a natural consequence of the mind’s reorganization. By leaning into practices that support spiritual awareness, acceptance, and embodiment, individuals can navigate this transformation with greater resilience and presence.
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The challenge of awakening is that it removes the familiar scaffolding of self, leaving individuals exposed to raw reality. Yet in this exposure lies the potential for profound growth. Coping becomes less about controlling experience and more about flowing with it, learning to meet each moment directly, without the habitual crutches of a fixed self. Science increasingly confirms what practitioners of consciousness have long understood: when the ego dissolves, the mind may feel unmoored, but it is simultaneously opening to entirely new ways of perceiving, responding, and living.

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