Unsatisfactoriness: Why Life Never Feels Fully Satisfying

By Tchiki Davis, M.A., Ph.D.
*This page may include affiliate links; that means we earn from qualifying purchases of products.

Have you ever noticed that no matter how much you achieve, there’s always a lingering sense that something is missing? You accomplish goals, buy the things you want, or even experience moments of deep joy, yet soon after, dissatisfaction creeps back in. This subtle, persistent discontent is what Buddhism calls unsatisfactoriness—a word that points to the impossibility of finding lasting fulfillment in external conditions or even in our own minds.

Unsatisfactoriness is not just about dramatic forms of suffering, such as grief or illness. It’s present in the background of everyday life: the restlessness during quiet moments, the desire for things to be just a little bit different, the mind’s inability to rest fully in what is. Understanding unsatisfactoriness is central to both psychology and spirituality because it helps explain why happiness often feels fleeting and why awakening involves a radical shift in how we relate to experience.

In this article, we’ll explore what unsatisfactoriness means, how it is defined in Buddhism, and why it is part of the normal human condition. We’ll also examine the mental processes and beliefs that fuel this unsatisfactoriness and consider how recognizing these patterns can open the door to a freedom beyond constant striving.

Get The FREE Awakening eBook

✓ Discover what awakening is like
✓ Learn about the four stages between awakening & enlightenment
✓ Get exercises to progress

Sign up below to get our FREE eBook.

What Is Unsatisfactoriness?

The term unsatisfactoriness is often used to translate the Buddhist word dukkha. Dukkha is sometimes rendered as “suffering,” but a key part of that suffering is unsatisfactoriness—the subtle sense that life, in any form, fails to deliver what we desire.

Think of it this way: even the sweetest moments—a delicious meal, a loving embrace, a beautiful sunset—contain within them the seed of unsatisfactoriness. The meal ends, the hug loosens, the sunset fades. The mind, conditioned to want permanence, finds itself disappointed when reality doesn’t match its expectations, needs, or wants.

This universal truth is not meant to be pessimistic. Instead, it shines a light on the very structure of human experience. Unsatisfactoriness reveals that when we place our hope for happiness in anything that is not here now—future outcomes, present experiences, past disappointments—we set ourselves up for inevitable frustration.

The Buddhist Definition of Unsatisfactoriness

In Buddhism, unsatisfactoriness is one of the Three Marks of Existence, alongside impermanence (anicca) and no-self (anatta). Together, these insights describe the nature of what appears to be our reality.

The Buddha explained that all conditioned phenomena (in other words, everything) are unsatisfactory because they are impermanent and not truly under our control. Anything that arises will eventually pass away, and so clinging to it as a source of lasting happiness is bound to fail.

Buddhist texts often distinguish between three levels of unsatisfactoriness:

Ordinary suffering – pain, illness, loss, or physical discomfort.
Suffering of change – the dissatisfaction that arises when pleasant experiences fade.
Existential suffering – the pervasive unsatisfactoriness of conditioned existence itself, even in the absence of obvious physical or emotional pain.

It is this third type that most people overlook, yet it lies at the root of mental restlessness. The mind—believing that it can find a better experience—restlessly pulls our attention into thought to create a solution, distraction, or coping strategy to avoid whatever is present, to avoid what it completely unavoidable.

The Mental Processes That Create Unsatisfactoriness

From a psychological perspective, unsatisfactoriness is not primarily caused by external circumstances but by the way the mind interprets them. Several processes contribute to this phenomenon:

1. The Mind’s Habit of Comparison
The human mind is designed to evaluate. This is useful for survival but disastrous for contentment. No matter what is happening, the mind quickly imagines how it could be better. You sit down to relax, but the mind wonders if there’s a more productive use of time. You enjoy a meal but think about the dessert that could improve it. In every moment, the mind compares reality to an imagined alternative, ensuring that the present never feels enough.

2. The Illusion of Control
Another belief that fuels unsatisfactoriness is the assumption that if we try hard enough, we can arrange life to permanently please us. Yet life is inherently uncontrollable. Circumstances change, people act unpredictably, and even our own bodies and minds shift from moment to moment without a "doer" or "agent" in control of them. The more tightly we cling to control, the more disappointment we feel when reality refuses to comply.

3. The Futility of External Solutions
The mind insists that the “next thing” will finally bring satisfaction: the new relationship, the promotion, the house, the spiritual breakthrough. But when each new achievement eventually loses its shine, the mind shifts its hope to the next goal. This cycle of striving keeps us chasing happiness without ever arriving.

4. Identification With Thoughts
Perhaps the most central mental process is identification with thoughts themselves. Unsatisfactoriness thrives when we believe the mind’s stories. Thoughts like “this isn’t enough” or “things would be better if…” are simply mental events that arise in awareness, but when we mistake them for truth (or self), we are compelled to act on them.

Get Support

Book a Session

Unsatisfactoriness as a Normal Human Condition

It’s important to recognize that unsatisfactoriness is not a personal failing. It is woven into the very fabric of human consciousness. The brain evolved to anticipate danger, seek improvement, and strive for survival advantages. This means our default state is not contentment but restlessness.

Even modern psychology confirms this through concepts like the hedonic treadmill—the tendency for people to return to a baseline level of happiness regardless of external changes. Achievements and acquisitions may bring temporary boosts, but the mind adapts quickly, leaving us once again seeking more.

This explains why even people with wealth, success, and comfort still report feeling unfulfilled. Unsatisfactoriness is not solved by rearranging external conditions but by seeing through the mental patterns that perpetuate it.

The Futility of Chasing Satisfactoriness

One of the most liberating insights of both Buddhism and psychology is that there is no external circumstance that can satisfy the mind. No relationship, possession, or achievement can end the cycle of dissatisfaction because the problem does not lie outside—it lies in the mind’s refusal to rest with what is.

This recognition is not meant to lead to despair but to freedom. When we deeply understand that nothing “out there” can complete us, we stop wasting energy chasing illusions. We see the game for what it is: a cycle of striving that never delivers what it promises. As this insight integrates, the thoughts actually become less restless. Once we no longer believe them or use them, they no longer have a function and fade away.

Seeing Thoughts of Unsatisfactoriness Clearly

If unsatisfactoriness arises because of identification with thoughts, then the solution is not to stop thoughts but to see them clearly. Through mindfulness and awareness, we can notice the mind’s endless commentary without taking it as reality.

For example, when the thought arises, “I need this moment to be different,” we can observe it as just that—a thought. We don’t need to obey it, fix it, or make reality conform to it. In this way, thoughts lose their power to create dissatisfaction.

Disidentifying from thoughts means recognizing that they are not who we are. They are transient events in awareness, no more solid than passing clouds. When seen clearly, they lose their grip, and unsatisfactoriness begins to dissolve.

Reflective Worksheet: Seeing the Thoughts That Create Unsatisfactoriness

Instructions: Explore these situations where the mind generates dissatisfaction. Note the triggering event, the thought that arose, and whether the mind flips to the opposite judgment. Then reflect on how both thoughts reveal the mind’s inability to be satisfied with what is.
©awakeningcollective.org

Situation	Internal Monologue (Unsatisfactory Thought)	Reflection: How the Mind Flips
Jane arrives late to a meeting	“Jane is so mean. She’s always late. She doesn’t respect my time.”	Mind blames lateness and generates dissatisfaction.
Jane arrives on time	“That’s just like Jane to be on time today, when I really could have used a few more minutes to answer emails.”	Mind flips to dissatisfaction in the opposite direction—now resents punctuality.
You receive praise for a project	“They’re just being nice; I could have done better.”	Even when validated, the mind generates new reasons to feel unsatisfied.
You receive criticism	“I’m terrible at this. I’ll never get it right.”	Mind reinforces dissatisfaction by clinging to negative feedback.
Quiet evening at home	“I should be out doing something more exciting.”	Mind resists stillness and longs for stimulation.
Busy evening with social plans	“I wish I had stayed home to relax instead of running around.”	Mind flips to resisting busyness—whatever happens, it imagines the opposite would be better.

Use the blank spaces below to record your own examples of how the mind flips between opposing thoughts, ensuring dissatisfaction no matter the circumstance:

Situation	Unsatisfactory Thought	How the Mind Flips

Freedom Beyond Unsatisfactoriness

What happens when we stop believing the mind’s constant demands for improvement? Paradoxically, we discover a deeper peace. Life is no longer a problem to solve but an unfolding, at first to witness, and then to embody fully. Experiences, whether pleasant or unpleasant, can arise and pass without the extra layer of resistance.

This does not mean passivity or indifference. We may still act, pursue goals, and make changes. The difference is that these actions are no longer driven by the illusion that they will finally complete us or satisfy us. Instead, they emerge from a place of clarity and radical acceptance.

Practical Ways to Work With Unsatisfactoriness

While the deepest freedom comes from profound insight, there are also practical ways to begin loosening the grip of unsatisfactoriness in daily life:

Mindfulness Practice: Regularly observing thoughts and sensations helps reveal how thoughts of dissatisfaction arise moment by moment.
Somatic Embodiment: See if you can feel the sensation in your body when your thoughts of dissatisfaction arise.
Contemplation: Reflect deeply on what it is that you actually want and whether that want is possible. Eventually you'll discover that there is no where to go. Simply here and now.

These practices are not about forcing satisfaction but about seeing through the illusion that something more is always required.

What Strategies Don't Really Work
Although cognitive strategies can be really helpful in coping with the unsatisfactoriness of daily life, they are just a bandaid or distraction that, ultimately, can not be used 100% of the time. Cognitive stratgies include:

Cognitive reappraisal, reframing situations, or seeing silver linings
Gratitude. If we are looking for things to be grateful for to avoid seeing the unsatisfactoriness, then it'll just continue in the background.
Physical exercise. Although great for the body, any activity that takes our attention away from the thoughts and feelings prevents us from seeing beyond this mental filter.

Unsatisfactoriness and Awakening

Ultimately, unsatisfactoriness is both the problem and the teacher. Without it, we might never question the mind’s restless search for fulfillment. By recognizing the universality of dissatisfaction, we are pushed to look deeper, beyond the endless cycle of craving and disappointment.

In this way, unsatisfactoriness becomes a doorway to awakening. When we see that every attempt to perfect life is futile, we may finally stop trying to make reality conform to our expectations. Eventually, what remains is simple presence—an openness to life as it is, without the burden of constant dissatisfaction.

Final Thoughts on Unsatisfactoriness

Unsatisfactoriness is a core feature of the human condition. Defined in Buddhism as dukkha and explored in psychology as the hedonic treadmill, it describes the mind’s inability to rest in satisfaction. This dissatisfaction arises not from circumstances but from mental processes: comparison, the illusion of control, futile striving, and identification with thoughts.

Yet within this recognition lies freedom. By seeing thoughts clearly and disidentifying from them, we stop feeding the cycle of dissatisfaction. We discover that life, though imperfect, can be met with openness. Unsatisfactoriness may never vanish from experience, but it no longer defines our relationship to the present moment.

The paradox is this: when we no longer demand that life be different, it becomes infinitely more livable.

Want to chat with someone about your awakening?

Book a Session

Get The FREE eBook

✓ Discover what awakening is like
✓ Learn about the four stages between awakening & enlightenment
✓ Get exercises to progress

Sign up to get our FREE eBook.