Dear Tchiki: A Nonduality Q&A Column
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Welcome! This is a space to submit questions about the illusions of self & reality. Please keep your questions focused on a specific trap, contraction, or stuck point you are facing right now.
Note: To protect the integrity and depth of this project, I do not provide personal advice, life-coaching, guidance, or comments on your story. If your question is chosen, the response will be published publicly on the website to help the broader collective see deeper. QuestionJuly 27, 2026
Dear Tchiki, When I carefully examine my experience I find various weird things like: location, size, distance, centrality, shape, weight, etc are not actually being perceived but in some way added mentally. Likewise, I don't seem to have a viewpoint or position. Currently, this is not causing me any problems and is only really apparent when I'm stationary with eyes closed and not much distraction. Is this something that can override normal human perceiving which would render normal human existence very difficult. AnswerYou are beginning to notice how the mind not only creates stories about the self, but also about what reality is. Because these mental additions are not loud thoughts running through the mind, they are harder to notice. But, once awareness notices the mind adding these details (making reality seem like something that it really isn't) these mental additions start to become less and less convincing (eventually, even with your eyes open).
The Fear of Non-Solidity The body/mind was convinced by its own stories about location, size, distance, centrality, shape, and weight, and used these mental arisings as proof that it was a solid, real thing. When you start to see that all of that is just mind, just story, it is common for fear to arise. It certainly did for me! Don't worry though. There is nothing to fear. You will be able to function on the other side, just with a different set of tools. The Transition There is often a short period of time (maybe days or weeks) where the body is adjusting to navigating the world without the mind labeling everything in space. Spacial orientation shifts from mental mapping to proprioception (bodily sense of position). During this transition, you might not want to drive or operate heavy machinery if you find yourself visually disoriented. For example, Christiane Michelberger talks quite candidly about how she got in car accidents during this transition period. Luckily, the body quickly gets used to navigating the world without spacial labels. And it turns out that these mental additions were never actually needed. The Other Side Once this stabilizes, perception is different permanently. Everything looks kind of like a hologram, wavy mirage, flat painting, or shimmering dream, but navigating the world is as easy as it always was. Plus, the visual field now evokes this ever-present sense of awe. We now can see that we are living in a non-solid, completely interwoven dream. It's pretty amazing. In Sum: So, enjoy the quiet space when your eyes are closed, and trust the body to do what it already knows how to do. The mental map might be dissolving, but you are simply trading an illusory mental blueprint for the living, breathing reality of All That Is. QuestionJuly 22, 2026
Dear Tchiki, We can point to a physical object and the absence of one (for example 'house' and 'no house'), but have nothing to point to concerning self and no-self. In the latter case, it is nonsensical—it's called 'no-self', but what is the 'self' it is referring to in the first place? Creating something just to show it is not? AnswerYes, you're seeing the spiritual trap that most get caught in. In order to have a belief in or experience of "no-self", the mind still needs to be holding onto a illusory concept of "self."
Because conceptual reality is duality, the moment the mind creates and idea of "self," it automatically creates its opposite, "no-self." Seekers then spend years trying to get rid of "self" and find "no-self" when neither experience exists outside of concepts, mind, and labeling. This means that even genuine experiences of "no-self" are just experiences based on a new, reified definition of "self" and a belief that "There is no self". Ask Yourself: What would distinguish the opposites of "self" and "no-self" from each other other than the mind? A genuine realization of "no-self" is a stepping stone on the journey to seeing that the mind manufactured both sides of the coin. It's not that there is or isn't a self. "Self" and "no-self" are not real, separate things. In Sum: Once the mind sees how it has manufactured both sides of every duality (not just self/no-self), you no longer experience heads or tails, "self, or "no-self", this or not-this. There was never actually any difference between any opposites. It only seemed like there was when the mind labeled them as opposites. QuestionJune 22, 2026
Dear Tchiki, I find I am using the 'Situation Construction Matrix' handout a lot, exploring how a situation moves through concept and beliefs all the way to actions. I use it for ‘personal’ deconstruction. However, can’t it also be used to construct a process? AnswerAbsolutely! If you record some of your experiences and identify which concepts & beliefs were activated, you can then "undefine" the concepts & beliefs to change your experiences.
Let's take an example. I got upset with someone recently because I felt like they were trying to manipulate me into doing something I didn't want to do. It was easy for me to see the belief that arose, which was: "I am supposed to do what others want to make them happy." Even though I don't believe the belief, I still reacted (thoughts and emotions), and acted (angrily talked to the person about it). The belief still arose (and I reacted to it) because the concept of "manipulation" still seemed solid. Beliefs will continue to arise until their conceptual structure is seen through. So to see through the concept, we need to go into it fully. Ask Yourself: What is your definition of manipulation? And what assumptions make it seem real? My Definition: I define manipulation as one person trying to control another using words and actions. My Assumptions ➟ My Realizations:
Although this is still an aspect of my experience that I am actively deconstructing, it's now clear that manipulation isn't actually a real thing, but rather a dynamic process that arises when the conditions allow for it. I now immediately recognize this simply as a process arising. I take these as opportunities to look inward, see what the mind is doing, and learn how the mind is allowing the experience to arise. In Sum: So, to answer your question: yes, you can use the Situation Construction Matrix to construct a different experience. But notice how it happens. You don't have to change your thoughts, emotions, actions, or even beliefs. To change them means that they still exist, just in a 'changed' form that is still conceptual (based on concepts). By deconstructing your concepts, you give experiences the freedom to flow in a totally new and unrestricted way. QuestionJune 21, 2026
Dear Tchiki, I am unsure what is meant by 'between' in the conceptual emptiness exercise. It seems nonsensical but that is perhaps the point? Conceptual Emptiness Exercise: Ask yourself the following questions. If your mind tries to jump in with answers, gently ask it to rest so you can simply feel what conceptual emptiness is like.
AnswerYes, it is indeed nonsensical, and yes, that is indeed the point.
When you ask yourself questions like these, the mind has nothing to hang onto. Often, it stops cold (or panics because it can't find 'the right answer'), and for a moment you can get a taste of the groundless reality behind the veil of mind. Additional Tips: Rather than trying to answer the question (that would simply be a thought), see if you can feel or sense what it's like when no answers can be found. Look directly at that empty space. Don't try to fill it, understand it, or fix it. That sudden, quiet "glitch" in your thinking process (where the mind looks for a foothold and finds absolutely nothing) is exactly what the exercise is pointing to. In Sum: Enjoy the blankness. This is exactly what you're trying to find. QuestionJune 20, 2026
Dear Tchiki, Namaste. Your writings are the clearest pointing to enlightenment. In Buddhism, there are 4 brahmaviharas and 5 wisdoms. Are these stages of awakening? AnswerAlthough I am not very familiar with the brahmavihāras, they appear to describe one perspective of how a certain type of awakening may be experienced and expressed. This type of awakening is generally prior to nondual awakening.
Regarding the brahmavihāras, nondual awareness reveals that:
The tricky part to see is that valuing these states is a subtle rejection of their opposites. And valuing these states can lead to a lack of kindness and compassion towards those who do not have them. Thus, to embody them fully is to let go of them entirely. In their emptiness, their fullness can be expressed. The Five Wisdoms The five wisdoms seem to be pointing to some deep nondual realizations, including the realization that nothing ultimately exists, the clarity that each dualistic concept is also it's opposite, and the seeing that differentiating 'This' and 'That' is just a function of the mind. It also seems to include an earlier recognition that awareness can observe and investigate experience from a removed perspective. These do seem more like stages, as this wisdom usually becomes clearer over time. In Sum: The gradual sharpening of clarity is a beautiful feature of the path. But don't let yourself get trapped by the concepts. Even striving for 'wisdom' implies an attachment to wisdom over ignorance. The desire to always be compassionate implies a rejection of moments of discompassion in yourself and others. Deeper clarity is actually profound groundlessness, where there is no right/wrong, good/bad, wise/unwise. When even the concept of "stage" finally collapses, the distinction between 'enlightened' and 'unenlightened' can not be found. There is no teacher and student. There is no helper and helped. There is just timeless flow, and even that description doesn't do it justice. QuestionJune 13, 2026
Dear Tchiki, I have been reading your “Types of Nonduality” article. I have a question about the part where causation is just a mental overlay, where moments get stitched together into a “this caused that” that is not really there. I am trying to put that next to a very different Buddhist teaching, the karmic imprint model in The Diamond Cutter by Geshe Michael Roach. There it seems to describe the opposite. You plant causes on purpose, for example generosity now that ripens as prosperity later, because events are empty and their meaning comes from your side, not from the things. So one teaching dissolves causation, the other one builds it. Both say they come from Buddhism. Do you see these as conflicting, or as the same thing seen from a different place? Thank you for the article, it is one of the clearest maps I have found. AnswerYes, paradoxical insights can definitely co-exist, even within the same tradition. These 'apparently opposite' perspectives come from different depths of seeing and both can be true/untrue simultaneously.
The karmic imprint model is an attempt to explain how karma works. It's a fine, functional map for how things appear to work within the "dream of consciousness", within the play or the everythingness of All That Is. At that level of seeing, cause and effect feel entirely real. In nondual communities, this insight is often called "causes & conditions". Examples: If you are kind to someone, they are more likely to be kind back. If you have positive thoughts, you are more likely to take positive actions. If you experienced trauma as a child, you are likely to have thoughts and beliefs related to that trauma. All of this is true at that level (and there is even psychological research to support it). At a deeper level of seeing, it's clear that there is no self, controller, or doer to create or avoid karmic imprints. It is simply thoughts and beliefs that make it seem like there is an individual person who could choose or change their karma. Even if karma is an explanation for how 'the dream' plays out, karma is unowned, simply happening, all by itself without a separate agent choosing "good" or "bad" actions. Deeper still, it can be seen that all answers to the questions "how" and "why" are illusions based on separation. We don't think of a river flowing as one drop of water pushing the next. No. It's just flowing. As an experiment, ask yourself: What is the link between generosity and prosperity? What is the link made of that connects an action done on a Tuesday to an event that happens three years or three lifetimes later? If you look closely, you'll find that the only link is a thought. There is a belief that for an outcome to arise, it must have a specific, separate cause. This is an automatic mental overlay so subtle and constant that it happens in every single moment without us noticing it. The mind takes two completely separate flashes of flowing existence, stitches them together, and labels it "cause & effect." In Sum: One teaching helps explain the dream; the other deconstructs the dream entirely. They only conflict if the dream still seems real. But when there no longer seem to be separate events to connect, there is only the uncaused. |
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