Dark Night of the Soul vs. Dark Night of the Self

By Tchiki Davis, M.A., Ph.D.
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Life sometimes brings periods of profound inner upheaval where nothing feels stable or meaningful. Two experiences often described in the context of awakening are the dark night of the soul and the dark night of the self. While they share features of disorientation and deep psychological discomfort, they are distinct experiences that occur at different stages of personal growth.

Understanding the differences between these crises, as well as where they typically fall on the awakening journey, can help individuals navigate them with clarity, resilience, and purpose. By examining these stages through the lens of psychology, neuroscience, and human development, we can demystify the process and highlight the transformative potential inherent in each phase.

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The Dark Night of the Soul: Early Awakening

The dark night of the soul generally emerges early in the awakening process. At this stage, individuals begin to notice that life feels hollow or unsatisfying, and the things that once provided comfort—career achievements, relationships, social roles, or belief systems—no longer seem meaningful.

From a psychological perspective, this experience is essentially a crisis of meaning. Existential psychologists, including Viktor Frankl, emphasize that humans have a deep-seated need for purpose. When traditional sources of meaning fail to satisfy, individuals may experience profound emptiness, disorientation, and anxiety. Unlike clinical depression, which is often defined by persistent low mood and motivational deficits, the dark night of the soul centers on the loss of life’s guiding frameworks, creating an urge to reevaluate purpose and priorities.

Neuroscientifically, this stage may involve destabilization of the default mode network (DMN), a set of brain regions associated with self-referential thinking and autobiographical memory. When familiar narratives about life no longer apply, the DMN can become disrupted, producing a sense of emptiness and cognitive disorientation.
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Despite its discomfort, the dark night of the soul serves an important function: it loosens attachments to outdated ways of thinking and being, creating psychological space for growth. Individuals may begin questioning old beliefs, exploring new perspectives, and engaging in self-inquiry. While challenging, this early-stage crisis is usually less destabilizing than the crisis that occurs during deeper awakening, because the personal sense of self remains largely intact.

The Dark Night of the Self: Deep Awakening

The dark night of the self typically occurs later in the awakening journey, after initial shifts in awareness have begun to take hold. By this stage, a person may have already experienced the loosening of external attachments and begun exploring deeper aspects of awareness. However, the focus now shifts inward—the identity itself comes under scrutiny.

During this phase, old roles, self-concepts, and assumptions about “who I am” may dissolve entirely. The sense of personal continuity—the internal story of self—feels destabilized. Psychologists often describe this as a form of ego dissolution or identity crisis. Neuroscientific studies suggest that when the brain’s self-referential networks are disrupted at this level, individuals may experience derealization, depersonalization, or profound existential anxiety.
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Unlike the dark night of the soul, which is primarily concerned with life’s meaning, the dark night of the self is a crisis of identity. The individual is forced to confront the impermanence and constructed nature of the ego, which can feel more destabilizing and disorienting than earlier crises. However, it is also a critical stage in awakening, opening the door to authenticity, psychological flexibility, and non-identification with rigid self-concepts.

Aspect	Dark Night of the Soul	Dark Night of the Self
Timing in Awakening	Early stage	Deep stage
Primary Focus	Meaning, purpose, life frameworks	Identity, ego, personal self
Core Experience	Life feels empty, existential longing	Self feels unrecognizable, ego dissolving
Emotional Tone	Existential despair, disorientation	Confusion, anxiety, derealization
Psychological Mechanism	Collapse of external frameworks and attachments	Breakdown of internal self-models and ego narratives
Outcome Potential	Renewed purpose, meaning-making, clarity	Authentic self, non-identification, psychological flexibility
Neuroscientific Aspect	DMN destabilization, rumination	Greater DMN disruption, ego-network restructuring
Overlap with Depression	Existential emptiness, low motivation	Identity confusion, derealization, depression-like symptoms

The Awakening Timeline: How These Crises Unfold

Understanding the timeline of awakening helps contextualize these experiences. While individual journeys vary, a common sequence includes:

1. Initial Awareness – Curiosity arises about life’s meaning; old routines and limiting beliefs feel insufficient.
2. Early Awakening / Dark Night of the Soul – Existential disorientation emerges; meaning and purpose feel lacking.
3. Exploration and Integration – Individuals experiment with new perspectives, practices, or values; some clarity begins to emerge.
4. Deep Awakening / Dark Night of the Self – The ego and identity destabilize; old self-concepts dissolve; deeper transformation occurs.
5. Emergence and Stabilization – Authentic identity and resilience take root; psychological and existential clarity develop; non-identification with rigid self-concepts emerges.

​It’s important to note that not everyone experiences both stages, and durations can vary. The dark night of the soul may last weeks, months, or years, while the dark night of the self can span months or years, depending on the individual’s depth of awakening and life circumstances.

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Scientific Insights and Growth Potential

Both crises involve significant neuroplastic and psychological processes. Stress and disorientation temporarily destabilize the brain’s predictive and self-referential networks, creating a sense of emptiness and uncertainty. Yet this destabilization is adaptive. Just as biological systems reorganize under stress, the mind can restructure itself, leading to post-crisis growth.

Research on post-traumatic growth and resilience suggests that individuals who process these crises effectively often experience:

• Greater authenticity and alignment with core values
• Increased empathy and social sensitivity
• Enhanced psychological flexibility and adaptability
• New sources of purpose and meaning

​While the dark night of the soul fosters renewed purpose, the dark night of the self fosters freedom from rigid identity, allowing a more authentic and integrated self to emerge. Both stages are thus essential for deep personal growth.

Coping Strategies for Each Stage

Evidence-based approaches differ slightly depending on which stage one is experiencing:
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• Dark Night of the Soul: Focus on meaning-centered practices such as existential therapy, journaling, trauma work, neurodynamic breathing, or reflective inquiry. Exploring new values, purpose, and perspectives can restore a sense of direction.
• Dark Night of the Self: Emphasis on identity integration through mindfulness, therapy focused on self-concept, and cultivating non-attachment to rigid ego structures. Practices that stabilize or ground the body while allowing old identities to dissolve are particularly helpful.
• Common Strategies: Social support, professional guidance, awakening mentorship, creative expression, and somatic practices can aid both stages.

Final Thoughts on Dark Nights

While the dark night of the soul and the dark night of the self share themes of disorientation and challenge, they are distinct experiences that typically occur at different points on the awakening journey. The dark night of the soul is an early-stage crisis of meaning, whereas the dark night of the self is a deep-stage crisis of identity.
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Both are natural parts of growth and transformation. By understanding their differences, individuals can approach these inner crises with insight, patience, and hope. These challenging periods are not signs of failure—they are opportunities for profound personal evolution, leading to renewed purpose, authentic selfhood, and a deeper sense of psychological freedom.

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